{& then} I'm proud to be an American

"...where at least I know I'm freeeeeee..."

Okay sorry I'll stop. 

But I won't stop smiling/tearing up/giggling. I just won't. Because so much history has been made this week!

SO. MUCH.

(And coming from a girl who dates literally everything she writes on in the hopes that someday historians will find her writing and be grateful that she was so thoughtful in helping them piece together an accurate timeline, um YEA, I'm super pumped.)

First, Wendy Davis filibustered for 13 HOURS last night (almost all for naught thanks to opposing senate members whose biggest weapon was to call her out on tiny technicalities but we won't go into that because UGH). Except for when all hope seemed to be lost, Texas rallied. And ultimately SB5 was killed - a victory not only for reproductive rights, but also for the provision of health care to women all over this great state.

Check out all the love:

#standwithwendy

AND THEN (!):

This morning my sweet friend/coworker and I sat with our eyes glued to to SCOTUS blog. We watched as the Supreme Court ruled DOMA unconstitutional and dismissed Prop 8. Once we were sure we read the findings right (because I went to college not law school, folks), we hugged and laughed and cried a little knowing that we are now BOTH seen as equal under the law.  <3

No matter your stance, the role of our government is to defend the Constitution and not personal beliefs, and certainly not to discriminate against a minority. 

Justice Scalia put it best I think:

"It is enough to say that the Constitution neither requires nor forbids our society to approve of same-sex marriage, much as it  neither requires nor forbids us to approve of no-fault divorce, polygamy, or the consumption of alcohol."

In the past two days, law and order have succeeded in their intended purpose. Maybe not in every way that people had hoped (e.g. the voting rights act and now the NSA knows what you just Googled) but we have witnessed at least a few victories that area a part of larger struggles, and that is reason to celebrate.

"Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable...Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals."

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

{& then} you get writer's block

...and like not even in the fun way that's frustrating but still exciting because there are a bunch of other ideas floating around in your head but you can't focus on/move forward with a certain thought/idea/purpose.

It's very inconvenient.

You spend more time psychoanalyzing yourself or conveniently "letting" others distract the shit out of you and before you know it you sit back down to face the music and your anxiety levels are at an all time high.

Just do this. Stop being stupid about it. You're being lazy. What's so hard about it? Will you ever stop procrastinating? Do you really want to miss out on this opportunity?

It's more than that though. And just below the surface you can feel your brain/heart/soul start to get into it, but for God's sake just don't because ain't nobody got time for a melt down or an immobilizing self realization.

Just take some more shallow breaths, pour another diet coke and go listen to that one song you love to dance to in the car.

And then when you've convinced yourself that you're sufficiently distracted (in the right way this time), turn on some Bill Evans and try again.

Because if there's one thing that will take you to that perfect mental state of hopeful dreaming of the future and relaxed introspection about everything that's wrong with the world and how we should fix it (besides wine which just makes you sleepy so NO), it's jazz music.

You set this mood with a little Miles Davis, some Coltrane, Ellington, etc. But you always turn on the same tune to calm your nerves and get in the zone.

Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.